I’ve Done Enough

It’s just been one of those mornings.

We got up early to take the family to the airport. I think it was 4:30 or 4:45. I’ve had company for two weeks. I’ve been gardening, lifting, moving, watering, planting, hosting, driving, cooking, cleaning, and making sure everybody’s comfortable.

I’ve been in the hot tub a few times and the massage chair once, but honestly? I’m exhausted.

And today is a me day.

I’m not going to worry about the missing AirPod right now. I think it’s a really good cue for me to feel some of me and fill up some of me. Hydrate. Swim. Relax. Listen to music, which I’m doing right now. Don’t worry if the kitchen isn’t cleaned up all the way yet.

It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I’ve just now eaten for the first time today.

I feel like I could cry, not because anything terrible happened, but because I’m tired.

Having an eight-year-old and a ten-year-old here for two weeks is a lot. I love them tons. I love my niece and my nephew-in-law too. It was a joy to see them all grown up because I haven’t seen them in two years.

But I also found myself frustrated.

A couple of times I stepped in when the kids were being disrespectful. One time I even got fully clothed into the pool to pull one little britches out because he wasn’t listening to his mother.

That’s how much it upset me.

And yes, I know. Different generations. Different parenting styles.
I see it with Grant’s grandkids sometimes too. The screens. The headphones. The educational apps. The multitasking. The focus on how smart they are, how athletic they are, how talented they are.

And part of me thinks, that’s all wonderful. But if they’re not listening to their parents, then what are we really teaching?

Maybe that’s the old-school mom in me.

I remember people telling me my boys were well-behaved. I certainly wasn’t a perfect mother. Not even close. I was a single mom. I made mistakes. Lots of them. But respect mattered in our house.

And maybe what really shocked me wasn’t the kids.

Maybe it was seeing how much our culture has changed.

We’re so focused on information and achievement and intelligence.

What did we learn? What did we accomplish? What did we see?

But gratitude?

Presence?

Respect?

Spirituality?

Those things don’t always seem to make the list.

Now before anybody gets their feathers ruffled, these are good kids. They’re happy kids. Their parents love them deeply. Parents aren’t perfect. Lord knows I wasn’t.

This is just what was moving through me today.

And maybe that’s what really needed my attention.

Not the kids.

Not the parenting.

Not the missing AirPod.

Me.

The cues were there all along.

Rest.

Relax.

Rejuvenate.

Eat something.

Drink some water.

Take a swim.

Listen to beautiful music.

Let the kitchen wait.

Let the AirPod wait.

Let everybody else’s life be exactly what it is.

Because nobody died.

Nobody got hurt.

Everybody’s okay.

I’ve done enough.

For today, it’s time to come home to myself.

As life moves through us,

Audrey