Lately I’ve been waking up with this funny little feeling in the morning. Not dread. Not really anxiety. More like… Okay, girl, what are we doing today?
And the funny thing is, nothing’s wrong.
I’m sleeping well. I feel good. I take my time waking up and when I feel ready I walk down to the kitchen. I turn on music, make my coffee, look out at the yard, and life is actually pretty damn good.
So why the weird feeling?
I think it’s because I’m in a season of life where I don’t have to race out the door anymore. No kids to launch. No cleaning job to hurry to. No constant pressure to be somewhere, fix something, or manage everybody else before 9:00 a.m.
I’m finding that freedom can feel a little weird when you’re not used to it.
I think a lot of women know this feeling. Empty nesters. Women who’ve lost a partner. Divorced women. Women who’ve spent years taking care of everybody else and suddenly have a little more room to breathe, think, rest, wander around the yard, drink their coffee while it’s still hot, and decide what the heck they actually want.
And then comes the big question:
Now what?
Not in a dramatic, life-crisis kind of way. More like…
Who am I when I don’t have to rush?
Who am I when the morning belongs to me?
Who am I when I get to choose from freedom instead of obligation?
That’s the part I’m learning.
Maybe I don’t need to wake up and immediately get going. Maybe I don’t need a mission statement by 7:30. Maybe the coffee, the music, the slow start, the looking out the window, the checking on the flowers, the wondering what sounds good today… this is the life I’ve already dreamed about.
This season isn’t asking me to do more. It’s asking me to do things from a different place, a different pace. Less pressure. Less proving. More listening. More noticing. More what sounds good today? instead of what do I need to get done before I’m allowed to relax?
What a relief.
Because I’m not lazy. I’m not lost. It feels like I’m learning how to let life move through me without requiring the old rushed version of me anymore.
And maybe that’s the cue: this feeling of freedom moving through a life with a little less resistance.
It might feel unfamiliar at first. A little loose. A little unstructured. A little, Shouldn’t I be doing more right now? And maybe sometimes the answer is yes, go do the laundry. But maybe sometimes the answer is no, sweetie. Sit down. Drink your coffee. Look at the yard. Let life catch up just be for a minute, or even 10!
Maybe this is the new work:
to be curious,
to slow down,
to trust myself,
and to choose what feels right instead of what feels required.
On this 4th of July, I’m thinking about freedom in a different way. Not just the kind we celebrate out there, but the kind we create in here. The freedom to live differently. To soften. To stop rushing. To let this season of life be what it is instead of fighting it. To trust that a slower life can still be a full one, a meaningful one, a beautiful one.
This feels like healing.
As life moves through us.
Audrey
Cued Coaching
Love moves faster than footsteps